The Kid

So right now I feel like I need to write but not sure where this is leading me.  No major theme, except maybe about the kid that screams in all of us when it gets neglected.  Nothing much, just a wee little topic.  Don’t know why I wanna write about our kids, not the kids we bred from our loins, but the kids that we still are.  WHAT KID???  I don’t have a kid. I’m not a kid.  I’m an adult.  I’m not that kid anymore.  I have to be an adult now, I’ll be ridiculed for showing any childish behaviour, I’ll never be taken seriously for having any illogical non linear thought patterns or irrational arguments or emotions.  So what do you think happened to that 3 year old, that 5 year old, that 8 year old, that 12 year old, that 15 year old that you once were?   Just went away?  All those feelings all rationalized away now?  That kid no longer EXISTS?  That kid not YOU anymore?? Fuck that shit and you know it.  Being a kid was a gift, a gift of honesty, a gift that you need to look at if you ever want to do anything you’re passionate about, and if you ever want to have a truly intimate relationship with any other human being, especially your partner in life.  This is what compassion is about, people; this is where you find it for yourself and feel it for others.

I’ll tell you something I know, from my own kid in me and from my offspring kids Lula and Max.  If we aren’t getting something we need, we speak up through our behaviours.  And guess what?  Everyone does this, no matter how growned up.   Behaviour may get squashed a bit more, it may get controlled a lot, it may have a lovely veneer of verbal bull attatched to it, even outright projection onto another or flat out denial, but some telling behaviour will show up in some form or another if there’s a strong emotional need that isn’t getting met.  Sidebar skills of all my own personal development, psychology and acting studies: I’m a passionate behavioralist at heart.  I see behavior in people and I can see all too clearly what’s going on with them based on their behavior not their words.  Behaviour gets expressed in body language, in facial twitches, in the energy you can feel radiating from someone and the choices they make. Hell, sometimes I WANT to ignore the evidence in behavior and believe those rational clever words that create justifications for the behavior,  but the truth of the situation always prevails doesn’t it?  We may not have the verbal skills to express what we’re feeling, particularly when we’re feeling it, especially children, since verbal skills require the left logical linear rational part of our brain that may not be that well crossed over with right side of our brain where emotions are processed, so the short of it is : if some emotion is really rearin’ to get out, the first way out is through our BEHAVIOR.

I don’t know why I need to write this, but this behaviour in itself is interesting to me, because I tend to watch myself.  I trust my behaviour more than my thoughts to tell me what’s really going on with me.

So…anyone want to take a shot at it, just for practice? Sometimes it’s easier to practice on someone else first before you practice on yourself.  (By the way, your judgement of me is really none of my business)  Also, I get that I’ve WRITTEN, which is verbal in nature, but it was really mostly a free association kind of a blog… plus, i got good crossover when it comes to writing.  A few things I’ve discussed so far: The Kid, Neglect, Denial, Compassion, Behaviour, Wanting to Ignore, along with the behavior of writing on my blog….to an audience…

Pretty easy huh?

Gotta go have a bubble bath, a cuddle and a play now.

PS. Below here is a link to an AMAZING documentary on Children and Compassion:

Children Full of Life Documentary

Bravo to the brave ones.